The Making of a slave 08/09/2009
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Dear Friends,

My name is Dirk, and I have been saved since Oct 19, 1978. I will not go into all the details of that, but I would like to say that for a couple of years prior to that time, I and most people I knew, THOUGHT I was saved. It took a wonderful pastor’s wife who had real spiritual discernment to tell the difference. Then in May of 1979, I was baptized in the Holy Spirit (having been previously baptized in water)

For three years, I was active in our church, in the choir, occasionally teaching Sunday school, and was in regular attendance at charismatic bible studies in the area. However, I did not have a clue as to what real Christianity was all about. I thought I was doing great, then all the walls started caving in on me!

I applied and was denied admission to Rhema (Praise God for His intervention here otherwise we probably would NOT be where we are today). BUT decided that was where the Lord was telling me to go. So I got out of the Navy with no prospect for a job, and moved to Tulsa. For 3.5months I went everywhere in the city to find a job, to no avail. Even when I tried one, it did not work out. I brought my wife and 4 kids there, had rented a house, and nothing to pay for it with. No money for anything.

So, after much arguing, I rejoined the Navy late in Dec 1982. I had a lot of professional success in the Navy, yet I could not get the training I desired. I was turned down for a special nursing school, and finally ended up go to submarine school. We ended up, back in Groton, Ct, where I had gotten saved 7 yrs before.

Then after graduating from the submarine training 11th out of over 200 and then maintaining a 97.7 average in the medical side of the school, they kicked me out because I was colorblind. Then the Navy sent me to Okinawa, Japan, without my family. Drinking had become a major portion of my life back when I had rejoined the Navy, and now it was way out of control.

I got to Okinawa, and within the month, I was being sent back home on emergency leave, because my wife was in alcoholic hepatitis. Though I worked very hard to get reassigned back to the States, my wife, without telling me, told the Navy she did not want me there! I found that out just before they sent me back to Okinawa.

So, my wife wanted nothing to do with me, I was on an island that was geared to meet the seedy side of life, and I didn’t care! For the next 3 months, I didn’t do much of anything but work and party. Then God intervened. Fortunately, I met a solid Christian, Ron, who wanted to really help. I thank God for Ron, for if it had not been for him, I would probably be dead. Right after I started going to their church, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and was in love with someone else.

When Ron, and I, along with the pastor discussed all of this, I was given the choice of following God or not. I had NO Promise of ever even seeing my 4 kids again, let alone my wife. So, I made a decision, I would follow after the Lord. Then I spent the next 3 days agonizing, screaming and crying my heart out. Only after that was ALL over, I had actually given them all up and rededicated myself to the Lord, that He finally let me know that He knew my heart, and my wife was His gift to me! (Funny, someone who hates me, is His gift TO ME?) But God has been known to do some really strange things!

So, I came back to the US in July 1986, and Linda wanted nothing to do with me. I took my 3 girls, left her and my stepson in CT, and we went to Virginia. We spent the next 2 months trying to make things fit there, but nothing really worked. Then Linda called and told me to come pick her up ASAP. So, I left Va and made it to Ct that night, coming back the next morning. She still did not like me! She ended up not liking me for the next year! It took 2 yrs for us to really begin to trust each other again. (even then, it was not total trust, but an uneasy alliance)

However, the drinking had come back in both of our lives and our lives were those of desperation. For the next 2.5 yrs, that is how we lived, Barely getting by, Linda going to treatment program after treatment program. I had gone to one in Okinawa, and another in Va. STILL, nothing worked!

We got sent to Newport RI and continued the same things there as we had in VA. Fortunately, there was a good church up there that we got involved in. The pastor, FINALLY wanted to help disciple us. (I had been asking people to do this, but nothing ever came from it. I was as much at fault as the churches we had asked to help) So, I would begin doing the right things, following after the Lord, then Linda would end up in treatment, and I would fall, AGAIN! This type of lifestyle went on and one for the next several YEARS!. Even after I was asked to leave the Navy because of treatment failure, we continued this same way of life.

I managed to find a job in Lufkin, TX and begin to settle in to our new civilian lifestyle. Fortunately, there was this church. They got me, at least, started back into seeking the Lord, Though I continued to have many problems with alcohol, the Lord was TRULY freeing me from dependence on it. Linda too, had come thru her ordeal and actually began to leave behind the things of the world. I will let Linda speak for herself in her own biography.


LOOK WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE

TIS ME
This is my testemony:

Ok, Dirk helped me and I got this thing posted! lol There are a LOT of things I do very well, but computer stuff just ain't some uv um.

I was born again at age 17. There was no one in my family or friends to tell me that I also needed to make Jesus Lord of my life. I had no christian friends or family close enough. As a result I was not discipled. I now know that discipling is a very important step in the salvation of and walk with the Lord. Because I was not discipled I got into the world heavily. I married a man I had only known for about 8 months. I found out 2 months later that he was addicted to pornography! He was abusive and I started drinking heavily to handle the hurt and shame. Yes there was shame with this relationship. I allowed myself to get caught up in the pornography. The drinking and shame of my sin brought on the depression, and I became very sick mentally! After my son was born 4 years into the marriage, I said, "Enough!" I joined the US Navy to get away from this man, and we were divorced shortly there after. I gained custody of my son. My ex husband wanted nothing to do with the child anyway.

This did not stop the drinking or the shame and depression. It only halted it for a while. My parents kept my son while I was in boot camp and hospital corps school. I got him back and went to my first duty station in Camp Pendelton, CA.
The drinking continued altho not as heavily. I loved school and the Navy life. My precious baby boy was a joy!! I met my present husband at corps school. We were married in 1975. And planned to live happily ever after!

One year after we were wed I had twins! Girls! They were beautiful, and my son loved them. We were one big happy family! My husband went to church regularly with us all, and even taught a few classes at night in the Baptist church in Gorton, CT when we were stationed there. I had gotton out of the Navy by this time. We had a suprise early in '78 and a little girl was born in December! This was a wonderful time in our lives. We were by no means rich but we were a loving family! And were growing in the Lord. My husband and I were both baptised in the Holy Spirit in '79. Then things started to get really good! The Lord started to use us to minister to others, and we had a wonderful man and woman to teach us about the deeper life in the Lord. Things were going great - and then --------- I started having visitations from a demon spirit! And started to drink again. That alcoholism had only laid dormant, it had not gone away. There were a lot of things in my life prior to this wonderful time that opened doors for Satan to send problems into my life! The drinking lasted for many years this time and just got worse and worse!

By the time our children were pre-teens I was mentally ill and was drinking and abusing prescription drugs! I was so oppressed by depression and anger that I could not function without anti-depressants and sleeping aids and tranquilizers. What I did not know at the time is that the more drugs I accepted from the Dr.'s the worse my condition was getting!!! In a period of 10 years I was in the Psyc wards 15 times for 30 days at a time! For a few of these years I would have as many as 4 doctors at the same time treating me. None of them knew any of the others were treating me!! I had 6 liquor stores that I shopped at so none of them had to see me more than once a week. I drank about 14 to 16 hours a day!! Before this whole thing ended. My liver was in deep trouble, I was hallucinating from the drugs, if I did not get alcohol I had bad DTs which caused everything from shaking to hearing voices.

When my husband was stationed in Japan in mid '80s for a year, I found a man 12 years younger than me, and called my husband in Japan and told him that I was going to get a divorce and marry this man!! I was so messed up and so deceived that I actually thought that was from the Lord!! My sweet husband went to his church there in Japan and told them what was happening. These precious brothers and sisters cried with him for many days and prayed for our marriage. After he came back to the states I was still with this man! This affair went on for about a year. And my husband continued to believe the Lord for his wife back!! The Lord told him to give me to the HIM and Dirk did. The Lord then told Dirk, "Now I give her back to you as a gift." One night when I was in CT. with this man and Dirk and the girls were in VA. the Holy Spirit whispered to me, "Go back to Dirk." That was it. I called him and asked if I could go back. He came the next day and got me and my son. Things were not healed right away. It was very rocky for the next few years. I was still drinking and abusing the Rx drugs.

The mental illness at this point was at a maximum!!!! My My what I put my sweet family through. My kids had to watch me killing my self slowly!!!! For 13 long years!!!!

And then it got worse yet....

After having been in psych. wards soooooo many times, and all the shame that came with my behavior (which by that time I had no control over), I had had enough!!! I went to see my psychiatrist one day and I was drunk. I assaulted him in his office. He was a US Navy Lt. Commander. He called the shore patrol in, and I fought them hard. They took me apart!!!! Hog tied me hands and feet up behind my back!!!! They picked me up and threw me on a stretcher and took me to the ER. The ER dr. shot me full of drugs to calm me down, and strapped me spread eagle to another gurney. If they had not done that I would have killed someone!!!

So far this testimony has not been interesting. Now is where the Lord has gets my attention.

They took me across town and put me back into the psych. ward. I was put into a padded cell in a strait jacket for one day. I screamed and ranted and raved the whole day! The next morning they took me out of the cell and jacket, and put me into a room with no windows, and put a nurse in with me to watch me. I was strapped to the bed with leather straps. Arms and legs, and given drugs to calm me. I was violent and suicidal and homicidal without the drugs. I wanted out of there in the worst way so I could kill myself. Finally I decided to "play the game". I had been psych wards enough times by that time that I knew what they wanted to see and hear. So I began to control myself. They let the nurse leave, then after a while because of my good behavior they removed the restraints. I decided I wanted a cig. and asked if I could go to the bathroom down the hall. In a psych ward they take away anything you have that you could use to hurt yourself or anyone else with, however they failed to find my cigs and lighter in a concealed pocket in my jacket. I convinced the nurse watching me from the desk that I was trustworthy to go to the bathroom by myself. I went in and took a roll of toilet paper under my robe back to the room. I also took a big handful of the paper and got it wet, and stuck it down into the tube of the paper roll. I was still being given drugs to control me. In my room I got the cigs and lighter and lit a cig using the wet paper for an ashtray. I must have smoked 3 or 4 cigs. The last one I put out in the wet paper I missed the tube and got the dry paper! At that point the drugs had knocked me out again. Next thing I knew there were people all over my room restraining me again!! And smoke everywhere!! I had caught the paper roll on fire!! This almost got me back in the padded cell. I wanted to get out and go home and kill myself. I knew if I wanted that I had to "play the game". So I behaved myself another day. They finally let me go to the side of the ward that was not so heavily watched.

Now you must know that when the shore patrol got me they had no choice but to beat me up to keep me from injuring them and my Dr. My right eye was swelled shut and I was bruised black blue and green from top of my head to my waist. I had fought them like a banshee!!

I had an appt. with my Dr. one afternoon, and told him that I wanted to go home. He looked at me and said, "You think I am going to release you after what you did?" I was supposed to be in there for 30 days, and I had only been there less that a week. I sat up in my chair, and looked him close in the eyes, and said in a voice that I never heard from my lips before, "I can tell you what ever you want to hear and you will let me do anything I want." I sat back in my chair, and we talked for a while. In about 30 minutes he was writing my release papers.

Now it really gets fun!

I got home and waited till everyone was gone from home, and got my prozac from the cabinet. I swallowed 86 prozac and chased them with a few glasses of wine. I don't remember a lot of what happened after that. Someone discovered me and called an ambulance. The part I remember the most was being put into the ambulance and seeing the lights in the ceiling. I remember the EMT slapping my face and calling my name. I could not see anything but could hear everything. I heard him call my name and say "get the lights and siren!! I've lost her!!" Then I heard a whooshing sound very faint. My last thought was "Thank God it is over." Death came silently and quickly.

I woke up in the intensive care unit hooked up to everything! A nurse walked into my room and looked into my eyes. She was dressed in a white uniform with a yellow apron or pinafore. She said to me, "Don't you know you died??, God has something for you to do." She was very serious. Then she walked out and another nurse came in. They almost bumped into each other. I asked the second nurse who that was. She said, "Who was what?" I said, "That nurse you almost ran into her!" She did not see anyone. That is when I realized that God had sent me a message. That nurse had on the very uniform that I had worn as a student nurse!

That is the day my life started to change. The Lord has given me a burning desire to minister to the wounded soldier. You see I was a Christian baptized in the Holy Spirit going thru all that. I was a wounded soldier.

Thank you Lord for your patience, your deliverence, your love.
Phil. 1:6
This is not the end! The Lord is still perfecting me, and working in my life!
(end of Linda’s testimony)

(Dirk again>>As an aside, I want you to think about this>>> We were married and together when most of this was going on. So I went through all of the above as well!)


Somewhere, back in the mid 90’s, something happened. God apprehended me! I do not know how or when it was. But sometime back around 1995, my life began to REALLY change. God began to show me things. I began to humble myself. The Lord showed me that I was wretched and that the ONLY way I would ever NOT be, was in absolute surrender to Himself. I read several books that showed me how terrible I was. I never had seen these things before. Perhaps this was when I was really saved, yet, way back in the 78-82 era of my life, there was a much that God had done in and thru me. I do not question it anymore, I just claim the salvation I had in 78 and go on.

Then I began to teach my kids, my wife, myself. We had bible studies. Many people did not like me at first as I was still very arrogant, prideful, and pushed everyone, demanding perfection. (even from myself) BUT, the Lord began to write thru me. Linda did a lot of the research and proof reading. We started writing up a bible study, worked it up to a workshop, and then finally a book. For a long time, we thought that book was the end-all of True Christianity. We have since been shown how little we knew.

I finally accepted the fact that I would never go to Bible school, never be a full-time minister, never go anywhere except Lufkin, TX. I gave it all to the Lord and honestly said thank You!

About eight and one-half years ago, my wife and I were relaxing, watching “The Sound of Music”. Now, I would like to say that we had both come to a place that though we knew that the Lord had called us to minister, we had only recently become restful in the place where we were, not looking for that ministry. We had decided to trust God, and if HE wanted us to move, go to school, change jobs, or whatever it was, that was fine. However, we were willing to stay where we were, doing whatever He allowed us to be involved with in our local church.

So, while we were watching that movie, the time came when the reverend mother sang “Climb Every Mountain”. In that song, there is a place where the words say, “. . .you will find your dream. A dream that will take all the love you can give, every day of your life, for as long as you live. . .” When I heard those words sung, I could not watch the rest of the movie. I was stuck right back there. I realized that I was not living that dream, but that the Lord was calling us to that dream! I did not know how, or when, or even what or where, but I KNEW He wanted us to be ready.

When I shared this with my wife, she agreed, but she was uncertain about it, just as I was. It did not take too long for the Lord to begin to open my eyes to some difficulties I was involved in. But now the Lord was requiring me to make everything right in my life. I saw no way of bringing some of these difficulties to light without causing possibly severe repercussions.

After discussing this with my wife, my grown children, our pastor, and an elder, we all agreed that the best thing was for me to tender my resignation. When this was accomplished, we were not sure what we were to do. I attempted to get another job in the area, but nothing came of it.
At this same time, we received information from a bible school we knew of and had wanted to attend for many years. Strangely, the school, though it is a full gospel, non-denominational school, led very much by the Holy Spirit, somehow, they were approved for VA benefits. I still retained my educational benefits from when I was in the Navy and so we applied, not even knowing how we would pay for all of it.

As it turned out, I was out of work for 4 months. During that time, as long as we kept our eyes on the Lord Himself, there was NO fear. We did not know what was going on, or what we were going to do, but somehow, we never lacked. We had two of our daughters living with us both with babies, one a newborn. They never lacked for food, we never lacked for food, gas, we were able to pay our rent, our car did not get repossessed and we had everything we needed.

Then all of a sudden, my wife, Linda’s folks invited us to their house in Albany, GA. Since we could not find anything there in Texas, we decided that it was best to try to head toward the Bible school, which was in upstate New York, by going thru Albany. So, we sold almost everything we owned. We sold all of our furniture, most of our possessions, and kept ONLY those things that we could fit in our Lumina sedan with both of us sitting in it.

We had been telling our children that we would be leaving them for several years, but we found out that they did not really believe us. We left and our daughters found places to stay just about the same day we left. We began to realize that like Abraham, we were being told to leave, though we did not know where.

On the way to Albany,GA., our car threw a rod and put a fist-sized hole in the block. I thank God for my wife, for if she had not been there, I would have lost it, and almost did anyway, except for her prayers and steadiness. We ended up having enough money to stay the night in a motel, get a u-haul truck and a dolly for our car.

It took me a week to get a job in Albany, selling cars, though I was NEVER any good at it. It did give us some money, though not nearly enough to pay off our car and get it fixed. Then came the next miracle. I saw a job at one of the local hospitals for the job that I was trained for, Nuclear Medicine. On my day off from the car dealer, I went there at 8am with my resume in hand. I was hired by 4pm that afternoon as the chief technologist! (That normally takes a few weeks to a couple of months)

So, in a couple of months, we had enough money to get our car fixed and began looking for a good church to attend. We had been going with Linda’s parents, but they attended a very Baptist church that was far too large for us. It took us a couple of tries, but we ended up at a very new full gospel church that we are still have some contact with. We quickly became active in this church. We showed the pastor the “work shop” that we had written several years prior, and had used to minister to several groups in our home. This pastor approved the workshop, and told us of a couple (not married yet) in the church who were not living a wholesome relationship, and having some grave problems. He asked us if we would use the workshop, and minister to this adult couple. We went thru the workshop with them in about 6 weeks, and they benefited from it greatly. Their lives were changed. They are now married, and living for the Lord.

I am not saying all this to lift us up, instead to lift up what the Lord has done. This teaching was the start of real ministry for us. We had never before been asked by anyone in leadership to minister.

We left Albany, and went to upstate New York to attend this Bible school at the Southern tip of the Adirondacks. On the way there, we took a side trip to visit my Father in Knoxville, TN, that I had not seen in years. We were a little apprehensive, but knew that we had to try to heal the relationship that had been VERY Strained for years. When we got there, the Lord just made EVERYTHING wonderful and healed just about everything that had been between us. For the first time in my life, I felt like my Dad respected me and treated me as an adult. I am now 53 and that was 7 yrs ago.

We stayed the night, was blessed even more and left with grace of the Lord upon all of us. We attended the Bible school for the 3rd and 4th quarters. Then I worked in my field again for the summer, to get extra money. We completed the first year by going back for 1st and 2nd quarters in the fall. After this, I began to work more consistently back in the field I had been trained in as a contract worker in Nuclear Medicine.

Except for a short hiatus in the Fall of 2001 when we returned to Bible school (Pinecrest), we have been traveling ever since. We were at Pinecrest when 9/11 hit, then the following day at midnight, my Dad died down in Knoxville. I did not have the money to go to see him before he died. My wife’s uncle, whom she was VERY close to died shortly after this, THEN the President of Pinecrest died at the end of September. We had quite a few shocks in a very short period of time.

I felt unable to continue at school and disenrolled. Linda decided not to finish the 1st quarter and we began to look for a contract job once more. Since that time, except for 2 long breaks 5 weeks and 7 weeks in the last 4 years, we have continued to travel all over the US.

This seems to be our promised land, at this time. We have been traveling going all over the country, not knowing where we were going next until, sometimes just the day before we were supposed to leave. We did NOT know if we were EVER going to stop traveling. In some ways it has been a great blessing. We have seen parts of the US we NEVER would have seen. This is a beautiful country. However, we have no roots. It is VERY hard to find a GOOD Church. Many times we have not even bothered to try. But even in those times, our relationship with the Lord has grown. We have sought Him and asked HIM to make us the people He desires. He has changed us. He has begun to make us a Father and a Mother to many people.

I do not know what His plans are for us. BUT no matter what they are, even if we NEVER enter the full-time ministry, we are His ministers to use as He sees fit; even if I must work in the area where I have been trained for the rest of my life. That part does not matter. What matters is Jesus being alive in us! SO much so, that everyone who sees and hears us will see and hear Jesus, at least, that is our prayer.

I pray all of this makes sense. It has taken us a while to get all of this written down. It was difficult to be concise with everything and yet relay the heart of the matter. We did not want to be too long and yet had to include many things so that it would make sense. I do not believe that we are an Abraham and Sarah, but we have been sent out as he was and it appears we may be finally getting to where HE wants us to be. We left everything (mostly) behind, including our kids and grandkids (we now have 11 grandkids.) We gave away our furniture, and possessions, our lives and our station in that little town in Texas. Many have said we were crazy. Many have thought we should settle down a long time ago. When we said we were leaving, we were told by most that we were nuts.

BUT our pastor in Texas called us up and prayed over us, sending us out to minister. Our pastor in Albany, GA, did the same when we left there. We have been sent. God has orchestrated our lives. We have learned to be patient and trust Him. Now, we are in Inverness, FL. It is not sure that we are staying even here, though this is a permanent job. There are possibilities that have come to us only in the last month that were not possible before.

We have found a fellowship of people online who seem to agree in many ways with the things the Lord has shown us. I have left out so many, many things. I wish I could convey to you all the depth of what the Lord means to me, how much I TRULY love all of you! People say things like that all the time. Most of us gloss over those types of things and don’t really believe them. Let me tell you, I REALLY CARE! I care about you ALL!. Whatever you see in me of Jesus put it into practice! Everything else, just ignore it, it is leaving anyway!

I pray, that this story helps you to understand me and know where I have come from. I wish I could share with you all the depths that the Lord has taken us into. I can say this now with all confidence and humility.

I did not make myself what I am today. It came from my submission to Him. To truly being willing to be wrong about EVERYTHING and letting Him correct anything HE desired. I do not deserve to have the understandings He has given me. I do not consider myself the deep and mature believer my wife says I am. I see my walk as one of uncertainty and trepidation. I hope and pray that I am where He desires me to be. If I am not, I pray He will fix it and fix me.

Whatever else, I do pray this>>>>> Father God, I ask You to make me into the man YOU desire me to be. Take out of me EVERYTHING that is not of You and replace with ONLY those things that come FROM You. Cause me to become so like Jesus that EVERYONE who sees and hears me, will ONLY see and hear Jesus Christ. Do not let me miss what You have for me to do. Despite my lack, my inabilities and my failures, make me Your will on this earth. I thank You and praise You for ALL of these things, in the precious name of Jesus Christ. Amen!!!

I have been many places, in the US and online. It seems that whenever the Lord begins to speak thru me, the natives get restless.

They think I am fine as long as I don't start messing with them. BUT as soon as I write something that challenges, that convicts, that demands a response, well, I hear, "you're getting a little harsh there, Dirk. Oh you can't say things like that, the babes in Christ cannot handle them. You are being mean!" Of course, there are many other things that have been said.

I can tell everyone here, NO ONE will EVER be involved in so much sin and stuff of the evil one that WE cannot forgive them and accept them as brother or sister. They will NOT have done ANYTHING that will surprise Linda or I. Most of it, we have probably already done anyway!

Linda has this habit of telling me that IF I had NOT been apprehended by the Lord, I would have been a GREAT leader in some satanic order. (she has mentioned the Illuminti) It is true I was originally headed in that direction. Somehow, I did not continue there. I can only thank the Lord for my wife who was one of the most important influences to herd me in the direction of the Lord.

Sometimes I do forget that, and I thank you for saying the things you have said that has brought me to explain these things to you. I now can remind her, once again, how much her life has blessed me. (yes, there were times it was NOT a blessing, but even then, I believe I see a challenge from the Lord there that caused me to seek HIM!)

So, I thank you all once again. I pray that we all can be a blessing to each other. Learning and teaching one another as we go along. There is NONE of us who knows the Lord so well that we cannot learn more from anyone! If we are so high and mighty that we cannot learn from EVEN a babe in Christ, then we need to be taken down several notches! This does NOT mean we cannot be bold, take a stand, be unbending, etc with those things we KNOW we have been taught by the Lord Himself. It is this very thing that the modern Christian does not like, for few today make a demand upon our lives, a response required as was written to us in the New Testament. It seems that many do not mind it being in the Bible, but as soon as someone gains a depth of the Spirit and begins to act, talk, and write JUST LIKE JESUS and the APOSTLE (which according to the Bible is what we ARE supposed to do) it is then that many begin to find ways to discredit the writer.

One of my personal beliefs/sayings is, we MUST be willing to be WRONG! When we are in this state, we can be taught. BUT, if we are not willing to be wrong, if we think we know the whole truth, then NOT EVEN THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY can teach us! This is an attitude of humility that we need to wear over all the garments of praise and glory He may place on us. Over even the ministries He calls us into or anoints us with. ONLY here, when we stay humble, KNOWING only our Lord has the answers, can we safely dwell in rest and peace, trusting Him to lead us in His way.

God bless you all!

a bondslave in Christ Jesus, Dirk


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Hi Ya'll !!! This is Linda. Dirk is my knight in shining armor! (most of the time anyway lolol He has suffered with a terrible spirit of rejection for many years until the Lord delivered him. I love Dirk so very much, and he is my best friend as well.

It was not always that way!!!!!!!!!!! I have my story somewhere above. I am "computer challanged" so a lot of times what I try do to don't zactly git done rite. lol

Dirk was right, if you read that, there is more detail as to what a true miricle it is that we are still together, and that I am even alive. I committed suicide sucessfully many years ago, and ...... well..... I'm still here! lol The story is all in the testemony on my homepage.

The Lord has used this testimony to allow me to minister to sooooooo many wonderful folks both online and face to face. I do need to edit it and put in what has happened since I first wrote it. SO MUCH WONDERFUL STUFF !!

God is so good!! He is my precious friend! He is amazing! I love HIM so much!!

Lord Bless you all with understanding of HIS truth, Linda