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Posted: Jun 7 2012, 11:05 AM
Member No.: 3
Joined: 29-July 05
Many years ago, back in January 1988, I received a phone call from my Dad. He had woken up that morning to finding my Mother had died in her sleep.
This was a very trying time for myself and my Dad, along with the rest of our family. I was in Virginia Beach, VA in the Navy. Dad was back home in University Park, IL (the Far South Suburbs of Chicago). I made a decision not to go back home because my Uncle Don (a minister) and my brother were both able to be there and I was up to my neck in charge of nuclear medicine dept at Portsmouth Naval Hospital, VA that was over worked and understaffed.
If they had been unable to be with Dad, I definitely would have gone. To this day, I do not know if that was a mistake or not.
By late Spring, Dad was planning his wedding in July. I made sure I was not going to miss that. When Mom had passed, I have never heard my Dad so broken up and emotional in my whole life. He was very private about his feelings and I was amazed that considering all the troubles they had together that he was so terribly devastated by her death, especially since she had been disabled with Rheumatoid Arthritis for many years and her health was so very poor. He had become her care giver as well as her husband, the former position taking prescedence in their lives.
In these last few years, I have come to understand my Dad a lot more. I experienced much of the same with Linda, her illness, the cancer and most recently her own death on March 22 of this year. I found since that time, that I had given up my family to God totally way back in 1986, when we almost got a divorce. After I really gave them up, God told me that He was returning Linda to me as His gift. I have come to remember that she passed almost 26 yrs to the day later.
Before and just after her passing, the Lord showed me that her life and death would be a CATALYST to the family and the lives of those who came into contact with her in any way.
This Word is coming true already. Some of the family are being challenged with their walk. Others are being convicted to surrender to the Lord. Some are NOT accepting the conditions God has placed on them and are rejecting His offer.
In my own life, many things have been going on.
First let me say clearly, that I was told back in 1997-98 that before God would ever use me as HE desired, Linda would pass away. That made no sense to me back then, and I didn't tell anyone about it. Now, this message is far more understandable to me, due to what God has brought us through.
It had NOTHING to do with Linda, per se. She was part of God's plan and she came to the end of her time. She did finish her course. At the end of her life, she was such a blessing, such a vessel of the Lord's life and even His glory that though she was in pain, she was far more concerned about others than herself.
Those who spent any time with her saw and felt this presence of God in her life that had never been there before.
I found that this promise from God about my late wife was for my benefit. I needed to go through her suffering, for me to come to the place of faith that I needed to go forward in. Like Abraham having to offer Isaac as a burnt offering only being stopped at the last instant before killing Isaac by the angel, it was to teach Abraham that he would indeed hold NOTHING back from the Lord.
So too, I was told all of this and warned 4-5 times in the last 3 yrs of her life that she was passing. My understanding at that time was, that would be the end of my time with a partner. I would never again have a wife and would be alone except for the Lord Himself.
He allowed me to believe that for those 3 yrs. I accepted that and actually embraced that idea. It was not my desire, yet I was more than willing to do whatever He wanted so that I would walk where He wanted me to walk.
About 2 weeks after her passing, the Lord removed that burden of being a steward over her life from off of me. It felt like a great weight had been removed and I KNEW HE had been carrying most of that load Himself. He had barely had any on the weight on me. And yet, when He removed it, I KNEW it had been taken away. I was free. Not free from loving her, not free from staying in the commitment I had already made to the Lord, but just free of that burden of caring for her life.
Then He told me that because I had obeyed Him, because I had shown Him that I would hold nothing back from Him and allow Him to take out of my life whatever He chose, He would then give me another lady who would remain with me until the end.
I find it is difficult to write those words even now 2 months later. Almost every time I think of it, I cry because of His Great Grace. And then, WHO AM I that He should visit me with this kind of blessing in my old age? I mean, I am almost 60, another year and a coupld of months and there I am.
Then low and behold He has me run into a lady who is a dedicated Christian. She is a widow and God is TRULY FIRST in her life.
Already, in this short time there are so many miracles about our relationship that it would be difficult to explain them all. She picked up my email from out of over 4000 emails because she saw something in the subject line? I have never seen anyone talk about the reality of Love being a CHOICE outside of dedicated Christians. Even most Christians talk about falling in love as though it happens by chance instead of by intent.
Oh there are many more. I got a new cell phone that had a full keybord and then met her; and she texts all the time!
There are many more things that I cannot explain. Is this the lady He told me about? I believe so, but do not know. We shall have to trust the Lord in all of this. Already, I have done things that I would NEVER have done even last year. But due to Linda's passing and God teaching me ever more how to walk in love, pouring out my life to others, I can pour out my life to her at His prompting, doing those impossible things.
There is no way to convey all that I have been taught, of the potential I see in her for learning, of her being led by the Holy Spirit already and being taught things of the deeper life and she accepts them readily.
And still the Catalyst is being used in the lives of those in my family and I find I am being drawn into a deeper and deeper walk and commitment than ever before. I am not the only one seeing these things. Others have also seen them and are confirming many things in their own lives or in my own.
I never thought my life could be this blessed as it is today and yet I see it only growing deeper and fuller in Christ Jesus than ever before.
All because a lady I met 37.5 yrs ago agreed to become my wife and we chose to follow HARD after God. It was not easy. It was NOT always fun.
But I have NEVER been so blessed in my life as I am right now and it all comes back to Linda and the Lord Jesus Christ. All because I chose Him when He called; even though I said, Who am I, Lord?
He said, You are my chosen vessel, come and see what I have prepared for you!
a bondslave in Christ Jesus, Dirk
Posted: Jun 7 2012, 05:05 PM
Member No.: 106
Joined: 12-May 12
Humbling? To say the very least. I AM that lady that has been spoken of here. All I can say at the moment is that this was God's plan to meet. Divine I AM sure, Blessed beyond measure, Thankful beyond measure, the Lord brought you and me together. Amen...A humble Servant in the Army of GOD. He still works miracles...I AM a testimony of that. God Bless You Always...LadySongbird
Posted: Jun 8 2012, 11:14 AM
Member No.: 3
Joined: 29-July 05
My Dear Lady Songbird,
Yes, I am very HUMBLED! This set of circumstances is probably the strangest thing that has EVER happened to me and I admit I have had a few lulu's.
I never thought something like this could happen and only God knows where He will take it. He has told me a few things and each time it has come to pass. But I shall NOT make any claim to anything or to anyone. That is not my place.
After all the things I have been through, after everything I have done, especially the wrong things, the mistakes, the lack of dedication at various times, and so many other things that are too numerous to list. After all of that and more, that He would grant me revelation as He has, and then on top of everything else, put you in my life, I am humbled, blessed, repentent of anything that could even be taken wrongly, and a greater and greater desire to follow my Lord so much closer than ever before in my life.
Father God, I ask you in the precious name of Jesus Christ that YOU would accomplish in me YOUR DESIRE for my life; that You of Father of Light, would cause me to be YOUR WILL on the earth, and that Jesus Himself would live His life through me.
I ask that everyone who sees and hears me, would ONLY SEE AND HEAR my Lord Jesus Christ ALONE and that they would give YOU all the Glory, Honor and Praise for His life being seen on the earth. Thank you for Your marvelous Grace that works in us mightily.
a bondslave in Christ Jesus, Dirk