The Castle Wars Noobs, A great story sbout a bunch of noobs.

Chapter 1: The arrival


Sweat trembled on Insanejava's brow. They had been searching for the fabled castle wars for days. Even with everyone pulling their money together, not one noob could buy a ring of dueling.

Im_famous12, Insanejava's noob partner, motioned for them to stop.

Im_famous12: We should stop and rest.
Insanejave: Why?
Im_famous12: Bobyou_bob just collapsed.

Insanejava looked in Bobyou_bob's direction. Indeed, a rather large figure was lying on the ground panting.

Insanejava: Ok. We'll stop at this hill.

Grudgingly, Bobyou_bob got up and trudged up the hill. Insanejava followed. It looked pretty safe. Just a few stray ghosts. Hopefully they wouldn't attack.

Hopefully was wrong.

Within seconds, the three traveling noobs had to put their Lvl 11 combat skills to the test. Insanejava pulled out his steel short sword and began swinging at the ghost. Several blue '0' bubbles appeared over the ghost's head.

The other noobs weren’t faring much better. Bobyou_bob had half his health depleted, while Im_famous12 barely had any health left.

Insanejava: RUN!

And so the noobs ran. Jumping over bushes and dodging low branches from trees, the noobs were speed itself.

Looking back, Insanejava glanced a ghost sticking its middle finger up at the noobs. This game was getting a little too suggestive.

Bobyou_bob: Insanejava! I found some bridge!

Insanejava called the noobs to a halt.

Insanejava: I think this is the Castle Wars Bridge!
Im_famous12: What if it's not?

Insanejava looked at Im_famous12.

Insanejava: You're right. Maybe we should check if it's safe.

Insanejava shoved Im_famous12 onto the bridge. It swayed a little, the wood groaning from the sudden weight change, but otherwise nothing happened.

Im_famous12: It's safe, guys!

Then the bridge collapsed. Wood and splinters flew everywhere. Im_famous12 gave a short little gasp, and then fell into the water.

Im_famous12: I can't swim!
Bobyou_bob: Neither can I.
Insanejava: Don't look at me to save your hide.

Im_famous12 thrashed around in the icy water. Maybe he should have taken swim lessons. But it was too late for regrets. He had to think, and fast.

Grabbing a plank of wood, he pulled out his prized possession, a 5-year-old strip of rope, and tied it to the plank. He threw the makeshift lasso in between a gap made from two standing planks of wood. Slowly, he pulled himself up.

Bobyou_bob: But what about us? We can't get across without the bridge!

Insanejava looked at Bobyou_bob and grinned. He threw him into the water, and used him as a boat. Cruel it was, but it still got Insanejava across.

Looking up, the three noobs****ed a looming, ancient building.

Bobyou_bob: I think this is it.

The noobs were in awe of their accomplishments. They had arrived at castle wars.

~End of chapter one~
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Chapter 2: Waiting


POKE.

Im_famous12: Ow!

POKE.

Im_famous12: Ow!

POKE.

Im_famous12 kicked Bobyou_bob in the shins. He swore under his breath and fell to the floor, nursing his injury.

The noobs had been learning the castle wars basics for about two hours. Insanajava was out buying some new bronze Armour for them, so Im_famous12 and Bobyou_bob were left to annoy each other.

Bobyou_bob: I wonder how long it will be?
Kalocake: Oh! Look! It's a band of noobs!

Im_famous12 and Bobyou_bob swung their heads to look at the person who had just called them noobs. He was dressed in gleaming gilded Armour, a whip in his hand.

Kalocake: Ya'll are goin to get owned! Castle Wars is for us high levels!
Bobyou_bob: M@y3 s0, 8ut u dont kn0w l33t!

Kalocake rolled his eyes. It seemed the noob torrent would never end. The high level clan would have to crush the noobs once and for all.

Kalocake quietly snuck over to Lanthus.

Kalocake: Can I change the rules to Castle Wars?
Lanthus: Most certainly NOT!
Kalocake: You've made me do something I really wanted to do.

Kalocake raised his abyssal whip and struck Lanthus. With a cry, the old man fell to the ground, blood soaking his chest. Kalocake smiled evilly. Killing gave him such satisfaction.

He continued to hit Lanthus until he was sure the man was dead. Then, he snuck on over to the rulebook.




Kalocake: Time to give these a little change. Now, if you die, you don’t respawn!

Meanwhile, Insanejava had returned from shopping for Armour. He had bargained well, and managed to pick up some iron Armour as well. Some people had been kind to him, and given him free iron stuff in sympathy, even though he had asked to pay. Others had scoffed and asked for 1k for a bronze dagger. Every noob knew they were worth much more!

A bronze dagger was a noob's trusty sidekick. Insanejava had decided to bring his own into the game. He had named it 'Noobdrop', after a sacred noob who had founded the 'Noobs for Cheese' clan.

Insanejava: So, what did you do while I was gone?
Bobyou_bob: Poked Im_famous12.
Im_famous12: Got poked by Bobyou_bob.
Imsanejava: Sounds fun. So, what team should we be on?

The noobs went silent in thought as they chose. Zamorak was the strongest, but Saradomin was probably their best option.

All three noobs: Saradomin!

And so, it was decided. They all lined up in front of the glowing blue portal.

Insanejava: So, who wants to go first?

When no one answered, Insanejava shoved Im_famous12 into the portal. With a yell, Im_famous was hurled through time and space. Why did he always have to use the bathroom at these times?

Since Im_famous12 seemed to be OK, the other noobs followed.

~~~End of chapter two~~~

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Chapter 3: Through the portal


The three noobs stopped out on the other side. They had landed in some sort of cave, swarming with players in blue capes.

Insanejava: How do you get those capes?
Demon99993: You're wearing them!

Sure enough, the noobs were donned in a plain blue hooded cloak. Looking around, the noobs spotting something quite amazing. There were bunnies and sheep with high levels!

Bobyou_bob: Follow the sheep!
Mazdude:(the sheep) Oh God no.

Mazdude ran around the room, trying to escape the annoying wrath of Bobyou_bob. Spying a trend, other players, and not just noobs, were following
Mazdude.

Thinking quickly, Mazdude ran through the portal back into the lobby, and came back as a human. The crowd that had been following him sighed in disappointment, and then went after a bunny named Motherpearl5676.

Insanejava: Demon99993, thanks for helping us.
Demon99993: It was nothing. No, really, it pretty much was nothing.
Insanejava: Say, do you know anyone named Kalocake?
Demon99993: Yes. I do. You see, I was once a member of his foundation. He and his followers are determined to crush all of the noobs.
Insanejava: My friends said he called them noobs, and then killed some old guy.

Just then, Motherpearl15676 ran into a wall.

Motherpearl15676: Ahhh!
SPLAT!
Bobyou_bob: Maaaaan!

Insanejava stared at the smudge on the wall. It was slightly rabbit shaped. Bobyou_bob arrived near Insanejava.

Bobyou_bob: It's really cool if you look at it. You can see some of its organs.
Im_famous12: Dude, that’s sick.
Bobyou_bob: Yeah, but it's cool...
Insanejava: It says there's 5 minutes until the game starts. I think we should prepare.

Apparently, Bobyou_bob and Im_famous12 prepared by chasing innocent players. Within seconds they had joined the crowd now chasing Inktriumph.

Demon99993 had joined a crowd of high levels who were chatting about the outrageous prices of rune these days. Insanejava wished he had rune. But that was something far off.

Drawing his steel sword, he swished it around in the air. It seemed stable enough, but 'Noobdrop' might see some action.

As the minutes passed, the crowd grew quieter. Somehow, the news had leaked out that you cannot respawn. Everyone was nervous. Bobyou_bob and Im_famous12 had stopped chasing the animals.

Suddenly, a voice filled the cave. Bobyou_bob and Im_famous12 recognized it immediately. It was Kalocake!

Kalocake: If you are hearing this, you are on the Saradomin team. I have changed the rules. You cannot respawn. And I have assembled a team so strong, we will wipe you out.

Then, the voice stopped.

And the game began.

~End of chapter three~

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Chapter 4: So it Begins

The three noobs were once again hurtled through time and space. Insanejava glanced over in the other noob's direction. Bobyou_bob had a silly grin on his face and was drooling, while Im_famous12 had his face scrunched up in a quite unattractive look.

Im_famous12: Why do I always have to use the bathroom at times like this?

Imsanejava gave Im_famous12 a weird look. They were hurling through an alternate dimension and he had to use the bathroom!

Up ahead, Imsanejava spotted a ring of light. Flattening his body, he zoomed ahead of the other noobs and rushed through the ring. He landed in a relatively small room, with tables holding bandages.

Swordsmandie: I see you three noobs made it!

They looked up at the person talking. Just another high level.

Insanejava: Gather up some bandages, noobs. We probably will need them.

The noobs rushed over to the bandage table and stocked their inventories full.

Insanejava: So, who goes first?
Im_famous12: Ohh no. Not me. This time, Bobyou_bob can go.

Bobyou_bob started to back away from the other two. Chasing after him, Insanejava shoved him towards the energy fields protecting them from the outside world.

Bobyou_bob: No. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

But his begging was worthless. Insanejava gave him a mighty shove, and he was thrown into the outside world.

Since Bobyou_bob seemed safe, the other noobs followed him. The air was dense and thick, and it smelled of blood.

Insanejava: Okay! We have to stick together!

But no one listened. The other two immediately took their separate directions. Insanejava was left standing alone. He headed down the stairs, searching for his fellow noobs.

What he saw made him tremble.

Swords were clashing. Sparks flew everywhere from the metal. Mages were kept busy at all times. Archers fired their arrows like rapid fire.
Insanejava raised his shield before he fell to the mighty shafts. Looking rapidly, he tried to find Im_famous12. But before he could, he felt a hand touch his back. He spun around wildly, only to find he was facing a huge high level, dressed in full Dharoks.

The man was huge. Clenching his weapons, he gave Insanejava a hungry, cold look.

Deathking: Me Deathking. You dead!

He brought his great axe crashing down. Insanejava rolled over to avoid the deathly blow. A large gouge was implanted in the ground. Jinkhunk raised his axe again. Thinking quickly, Insanejava's eyes tried to find a weak point in the Armour. The only one he could find was...

Insanejava: His face...

Raising his trusty bronze dagger, Insanejava lashed up at the hulking man. Before he had any time to react, blood was streaming down his face.

Deathking: Hu...

The towering figure was sent crashing towards the ground.

Insanejava: Whoa...did I do that?

Im_famous came rushing towards Insanejava. He looked at the bloody dagger in his hand, then back at the fallen figure of Jinkhunk.

Im_famous: Holy cow, man! You just killed a high level!

And so he had. But Insanejava wasn't worried about that at the moment.

Insanejava: Where's Bobyou_bob?
Im_famous12: I don't know. Last time I saw him, he was heading towards the flag room.

Insanejava groaned. It seemed they would have to find him before the high levels did.

~~End of chapter four~~

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Chapter 5: A Noob in Captivity


Bobyou_bob had certainly done it this time. Kalocake was standing over him with a hungry look in his face.

Kalocake: I'm not going to kill you. But you will become my slave, noob.

He let out a maniacal laugh. In short, Bobyou_bob probably shouldn't have decided to defend the flag single handedly. He had told the others to leave, and that he was man enough to swamp Kalocake and his crowd.

Well obviously, he was wrong.

Kalocake kicked Bobyou_bob in the shins. He let out a brief "owchewawa" and fell to the ground. Kalocake continued to kick him until all of his kick-a-noob needs were satisfied.

Kalocake motioned one of his high level buddies over.

Kalocake: Take this...thing...to the torture cells.

His buddy, a gruff man named Cheatedeath, who was dressed in full rune with a Dragon Halberd, grabbed Bobyou_bob by his shirt collar and dragged him away. His bronze Armour lay in pieces nearby.

Bobyou_bob: You won't get away with this!
Cheatedeath: Shut up, noob!
Bobyou_bob: Ok.

And so, Bobyou_bob was lead away to the torture chambers. While he was being dragged, he saw some very disgusting things. People dead, with their hearts laying beside them, mages with arrows imbedded in their eye sockets, and, most disgusting of all, someone eating low-fat yogurt. That stuff tasted horrible!

Bobyou_bob: Can I have a snack break?
Cheatedeath: Don't kid yourself.

Cheatedeath finally stopped dragging the helpless noob. He banged on the giant wood doors twice, and waited. The doors slowly creaked open.

Cheatedeath led Bobyou_bob into a small, damp dungeon.

Cheatedeath: This is where you'll be staying.

He motioned to a pre-occupied cell, holding a small, badly-shave**noob named Nemo123465.

Cheatedeath: Don't mind Nemo over there. He stays quiet most of the time.

Nemo raised his hand and waived. Then, he spoke in a stuttering, raspy voice, as if he hadn't eaten or drank in days.

Nemo: he-...he-...hello...

Cheatedeath just stared at Nemo. He had a revolted look on his face, as if staring at the half-*****, starved, tortured noob was one of the worst things imaginable. Next to eating low-fat yogurt, of course.

Cheatedeath: Watch this. If you get bored, you can just kick Nemo.

Cheatedeath ran up and gave Nemo a swift kick in the stomach. Nemo gasped and clutched his stomach. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he passed out on the floor.

Cheatedeath: Ha ha, ha ha, GET IN!

Bobyou_bob jumped, and scrambled into the cell. He could only stare out into the damp, gray walls as the barred walls.

If only someone would be stupid enough to rescue him.

***END OF CHAPTER FIVE***

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Chapter 6

Insanejava: Any luck yet?
Im_famous12: Nope.

The two noobs had been out searching for hours, trying to find Bobyou_bob. Somehow, Kalocake had disabled the timer. They should have been free by now.

Im_famous12: Hey! I found some sort of bridge!
Insanejava: Hmm. We should test if it's safe.
Im_famous12: Yeah...

And so, Im_famous12 shoved Imsanejava onto the bridge. It felt kind of good, to shove back after all those days of being shoved.

Meanwhile, back in the Zamorak base, the high levels were exited. They were about to torture their noob captives. Bobyou_bob and Nemo were both silent and wetting themselves.

Earlier on, Bobyou_bob learned that Nemo had been a slave noob for the high levels, but had spoken up and was doomed to immortal torture.

Richdude: Come, Nemo.

Richdude was their jail keeper. And he was just a big ol dumb (*beep*). With his nose stuck up, a snobby British accent, and rather ugly Satan red clothes, he was every noobs, well, not quite worst nightmare.

Shakingly, Nemo rose up from his fedal position and walked over to Richdude. Grinning in his snobbish manner, Richdude gave him a swift kick in the chest.

Richdude: This way. I think it's time we thought you noobs one hell of a lesson!

Bobyou_bob rolled his eyes. Richdude always tried to act cool by saying mild curse words.

Grabbing Nemo by the scruff of his shirt, Richdude dragged him down the long stone hallway.

Nemo: So what exactly are you going to do to me?
Richdude: Oh, lets just say you will regret disobeying our laws!

Nemo was quiet the rest of the trip. For about five minutes, he was bumped and bruised while being dragged. The high levels really had no consideration for noobs.

Richdude: Here is your torture chamber.

Stopping, he pulled out a glittering crystal key and opened two large metal doors. What Nemo saw inside made him cower.

People were lying on operating tables. Except they weren’t people anymore. They were only chunks of people. An eyeball and a pinkie was all that was left on one operating table. But the thing that made it worse was the fact that there was a horrible stench of low fat yogurt.

Nemo: Oh, Guthix help me...

Throwing Nemo onto an empty table, Richdude grinned.

Richdude: Guthix is a weak and pathetic god. Zamorak is the way to go.

And on that, he left, leaving Nemo to be introduced to his torturer.

Daisynails: I am Daisynails. I will have the pleasure of torturing you today.

Grinning evilly, she bent down, showing Nemo her shiny bald head. What she picked up was yucky Low-fat yogurt, and a spoon.

Daisynails: EAT IT, YOU DAM NOOB!

She scooped up a dollop of the stuff, and forced it into Nemo's mouth. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he fainted.

Daisynail*****elent...

At the time of Nemo's torture, Insanejava and Im_famous were locked in fierce combat.

Im_famous was locked in an intense battle with a level 35 named Percival767, while Insanejava had to take on a female guard. Quietly, he scanner her appearance.

The woman was thin, and quite attractive. But even so, she was an enemy. Keeping an eye on her, Insanejava pulled out his dagger. But the woman was quicker. In the blink of an eye, she had a poisoned dragon dagger raised in her hand.

Insanejava: Oh, son of a bit-

Grinning, she dove at him with the dagger in her hand. Thinking as quickly as possible, Insanejava cartwheeled to his left. She only missed by a few inches.

Ytellyou: Listen***noob. We can do this easy, or hard. I don't really care, cause you die both ways. But come on, choose.
Insanejava: You dirty choob!

Even though Insanejava was a noob, he still knew a lot about battle tactics. Dodging the swipes Ytellyou sent at him, he kicked her off of her feet.

Ytellyou: You lousy noob! You think you can kill me?

She threw her dagger to the side, drawing a great axe. Insanejava cursed. He was doomed for sure.

Thinking on his feet, he quickly made a plan. It was puny, but it was his last hope.

Diving with all his lvl 11 might, he pushed her into the river. Then, picking up the dagger she left aside, he threw it in after her.

Blood rose up to the surface.

He looked to the side to see Im_famous12 beating Percival senseless. Taking Insanejava's cue, he threw the unconscious body into the water.

It was time to rescue Bobyou_bob.

~^v^~END OF CHAPTER SIX~^v^~

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Chapter 7: Over the Wall

Insanejava had been thinking for hours how to climb that wall. It seemed almost impossible. It was huge, made of solid stone. They didn't want to use the doors, for even the noobs knew of the high levels on the other side waiting to kill them.

Insanejava: Anything yet?
Im_famous12: Nope.

Looking around, they found something that might be useful: some rope.

Im_famous: Hang on. Give me that rope.
Insanejava: Ok...
Im_famous12: I've seen this in movies.

Im_famous12 grabbed a thin strip of rope and threw it up the castle wall. Making sure it was firm in place, he placed his feet on the wall and started to climb.

Insanejava: Wicked cool, man.
Im_famous12: This is why I took yoga!

When Im_famous12 had reached the very top, he sprung forwards with his feet, performing a triple front-flip onto the castle wall. Insanejava held up a little sign with a "10" on it.

Im_famous12: You try now!
Insanejava: But I don't do yoga!
Im_famous12: It's easy. Just pretend there's a hoard of angry OH MY GOODNESS!

Insanejava whirled around instantly. What he saw made him piddle. A rather large horde of level 90s and 100s was running towards him.

Im_famous12: CLIMB FORREST CLIMB!
Insanejava: I thought you hated "Forest Gump".
Im_famous12: Shut up, that just ruined the moment.

Insanejava scowled, and then ledged his feet just as Im_famous had done.

Step after step, Insanejava climbed. He moved his feet exactly as Im_famous had done. He chanced a glance down. The high levels were drawing bows, led by a level 79 named Jaggedsblade. He didn't have a bow, but he did have a lot of threatening looking weapons.

Jaggedsblade: Give it up, noob! You'll never scale the wall in time!

Insanejava stuck his tongue out at the high levels, and then continued to climb. An arrow whizzed passed him, landing just where his head had been a second ago.

Insanejava: Oh bullsauce.
Jaggedsblade: FIRE!
Im_famous12: Fire? OMG AAAAH!

Im_famous12 grabbed the rope Insanejava was climbing on and pulled it up. Even if Im_famous12's claim and been off, he was right in a way. The high levels were setting fire to Insanejava's rope.

Im_famous12: Please excuse my language, but CLIMB DAMIT!

Insanejava was momentarily stunned that Im_famous had swore. Even so, he climbed that rope like lightning. More arrows fired at him, and narrowly missed. Jaggedsblade got so frustrated; he grabbed © a © rune throwing-knife and hurled it at Insanejava.

It missed him, but hit the rope ahead.

Insanejava had about three seconds to react. He placed both feet on the wall, threw his hands up on the ledge, and flipped just as Im_famous had done.

Im_famous12: So you didn't need the yoga.

Insanejava just whipped his brow. He needed a rest.

His rest was cut short by the high levels standing to greet them.

**END OF CHAPTER SEVEN**

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Chapter 8: Waking and Escaping


Daisynails continued to stuff the nauseas concoction of low-fat yogurt and Equal® into Nemo's mouth. The unconscious body lay on the operating table, his head facing up with his mouth lying open.

Daisy: I think that's enough yogurt for you. Now, I'll need the other noob.

Daisy enjoyed talking to her captives. Few people knew she had a mental condition called ITTUP. It was short for I Talk To Unconscious People. It pretty much explained itself.

Daisy hummed to herself as she twirled the keys around on her finger. One down, one to go, she though to herself.

Daisynails: Get over here noob, before I...huh?

The cage was empty.

With a leap, a bound, and a war cry, Bobyou_bob and Nemo were on her. Nemo had secretly captured Richdude and disguised him as himself, so Richdude got the torturing.

Bobyou_bob was striking her pretty hard, but it was Nemo who stole the show. Whipping and striking, he was beating her with the knotted rope used to punish mildly disobeying noobs.

Daisynails: Ah...no...AGH!

Nemo didn't stop. He just kept striking Daisy with the rope. On the back, on her head. Bobyou_bob could only watch in horror.

Bobyou_bob: Nemo...stop...

But he didn't.

Bobyou_bob: STOP! SHE DOSN'T NEED THIS!

Slowly, scowling at Daisy, Nemo set the rope down. She sighed her thanks to Bobyou_bob, and then laid down.

Suddenly, a figure appeared at the dungeon door.

Daisy: Legolas...

Legolas was a half cat warrior who was dynamite on the battlefield. He was known to kill traitors.

Legolas: Not now. You three have to run. I know you aren’t a traitor, Daisy. But you have to run. They will still kill you.
Daisy: Damit! I liked this job.

Reluctantly, she got up and followed the noobs. Hustling her feet, she tried to catch up to the speeding duo. She now knew why they were running. High levels who abused their power truly were hell.

After making sure they had left, Legolas swerved around.

Legolas: Here, Cheatedeath...come out you royal bastad....

The hulking figure of Cheatedeath came out. And he pounced at Legolas.

With a flash, Legolas was now the creepy thin figure of a black cat. With a meow and a hiss, it leapt up at Cheatedeath. He gave a cry of surprise and fell to the cat creature's wrath.

Meanwhile, Bobyou_bob and company was racing out of the dungeons. Without so much as a look back, they dashed for the underground exit.

When they looked up, Bobyou_bob gave a cry of surprise.

Insanejava and Im_famous12 were in the fight of their lives.

~~END OF CHAPTER EIGHT~~

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Chapter Nine: Turning Point

Im_famous12 was locked in a fierce battle with a Zamorak supporter named Ice Streak. Ice streak was certainly supportive of Zamorak, as he was dressed in fierce blood red robes.

Daisynails looked up also. She flinched at all the fighting.

Daisy: Torturing is really my thing. I should run...

But before she could, an arrow lodged its self into her leg. She let out a blood-curdling scream and sank to her knees. Blood came rushing out of the wound in torrents.

Nemo: How could they have hit you? You're for Zammy!

As if to answer the question, Legolas came running up.

Legolas: Me...and Daisy...we're for Saradomin...

He was heavily wounded in several places. Scratches covered his face, and his clothes were torn up.

Bobyou_bob: RUN!!!
Daisy: um...that's not a very funny joke...

She motioned to her leg.

Bobyou_bob: ooh...sorry.

Im_famous was twisting and twirling, trying to dodge the blows from Ice Streak.

Daisy flinched at Nemo's anger. Nemo was usually the quiet one, a stupid, miserable quiet one.

Daisy: Ok, you jerk-off. But if you haven’t noticed, Im_famous and I are pretty much immobile.

She glanced at Im_famous, who was on the ground in the fetal position muttering "owchewawas" over and over again under his breath.

Insanejava: We'll have to carry them.
Legolas: I'll carry Daisy.
Bobyou_bob: Fine, I'll carry Dr. Snuffles over there.

But the comment went unnoticed. Everyone else had already left.

Bobyou_bob: Humph. Go on, leave without me. See what I care...

But he didn't get to say any more. Ice Streak raised a block of wood and clubbed him on the head, leaving a large gash.

Im_famous: Hey...that's not very nice.

Ice Streak just glared at Im_famous before continuing to beat Bobyou_bob unconscious. Then, with an evil smile, he headed on over to Im_famous.

Im_famous: Don't hurt me.
Ice Streak: Just shut up, nooblet.

BASH! The block of wood came beating down on Im_famous before he could say anything else.

Im_famous: I see stars.... lots of pretty stars...

BASH! BASH! BASH! BASH! BASH! Ice Streak was relentless in his beating on the noob.

Ice Streak: This time, you two won't get away. You'll have to see Kalocake himself...

And with an evil chuckle, he led the two noobs to their doom.

Meanwhile, the others were running like there was a trail of enemies on them. Which there was, but you get the point. At least I think.

Insanejava: Just shut up, author!
Me: OK.

Ok, back to the intense action.

Daisy: This (bump) is (bump) making (bump) me (bump) nauseous! (RATHER LARGE BUMP)

Darnet, I think I've written myself into a © hole. To make me get out of the hole...

A crash of thunder made everyone jump. They ducked behind a castle wall, catching their breath.

Legolas: Do you think we outran 'em?
Insanejava: Hey, where’d Bob and Famous go?
Daisy: What if...we...forgot them?
Nemo: I think we did.
Insanejava: Not another rescue mission!

Yes folks, another rescue mission.

***END OF CHAPTER NINE***

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Chapter 10: Death Clouds the Mind

Another rescue mission! Just the thought made everybody's heads spin. The action, the speed, the low-fat yogurt! But it looked like they would have to do it anyways.

Insanejava: So, we need a battle plan.

For no reason what so ever, Tina Turner music plays.

Tina Turner: And we're rollin'! rollin'! Rollin' down the river!

Everybody flinched, because to the untrained ear, Tina Turner is just another gospel singer. My ear is just as untrained, so fuh-get about asking me if I like her as a singer.

When Tina Turner was done, everybody uncovered their ears.

Daisy: That was one of the oddest moments in my life.
Legolas: Amen.
Insanejava: Aye.
Nemo: Never...EVER.... again.
Insane: So, back to the battle plan.

At that very moment, Tina Turner started singing again.

Legolas: Oh, THAT'S IT!

Legolas started twitching. For a second, everybody thought he was having a seizure. But we was really transforming. Hair sprouted out of his back. Then it hung off of his face.

He had turned into some sort of wolf-cat. Growling, he pounced on Tina Turner. She let out a shriek, and was silent ever more.

Daisy: She may not be able to sing, but did you have to kill her off, Mr. Writer person?
Me: The chapter has death in the title. Did you not notice?
Daisy...no

Me: Well good, cause Tina Turner wasn't the planned death. Now, can we continue with the story?!?!

Insane: As I was saying, we need a battle plan.
Legolas: But what?
Nemo: How about...we go in, and rescue them?

Everyone stared at Nemo with raised eyebrows. He had to be kidding.

Daisy: I think he actually has a small point.
Legolas: Best plan I've heard all day.

So, with a worthless plan in their minds, they set out to rescue Bobyou_bob and Im_famous12.

---

Kalocake was pacing back and forth in his throne room. Two noob captives, yet somehow, his last captives had escaped. It seemed he would have to take care of them himself.

Dressed in an elegant purple material, he strode down towards the catapult room, where the noobs were being held.

---

Jaggedsblade: Fire the catapult!

KA**ING! A giant rough stone went hurling down upon the Saradomin attackers

Ice Streak: More to the left!

KA**ING! Another rock sent dozens of others too their deaths.

Ice glanced at Jagged, his partner.

Ice Streak: You should be punished for letting those noobs go, you know.
Jagged: There was nothing I could do about it. Get back to the catapult before I tell Kalocake you were slacking on your duties.
Kalocake: There will be no need for that.

The two swung around to face the hardened face of Kalocake. He appeared unamused, his eyebrows furrowed in a point in the middle of his forehead.

Kalocake: Where are the captives?
Jagged: O...o...over behind the crates, sir.

Kalocake simply strode off. Jagged's face was red, and beads of sweat were falling down his forehead.

Ice: You're lucky you got off so easy. Next time, I have a feeling we might both be sent to the execution room.

Jagged gulped.

---

Bobyou_bob had just awoken from the coma he had been put into. He panicked when he saw Kalocake heading their way.

Bobyou_bob: Wake up! Im_famous, wake up! It's Kalocake!

But Im_famous simply sat in his position, his head hung low.

Bobyou_bob: Please don't kill me, Kalocake, sir. I'm a noob, a terrible noob. Just send me to the torturing room. Don't kill me!

Kalocake just stared in disgust at the begging noob. He frowned.

Kalocake: I can't do that, now can I? You know why? DO YOU KNOW WHY?
Bobyou_bob: No, no I don't, sir!
Kalocake: It is because the only high level willing to torture without a salary was a traitor!

Kalocake raised a trembling hand and struck the noob. Bobyou_bob's nose broke under the pressure of the blow.

Kalocake: Taking my anger out on noobs is one of my favorite past times. NOW SHUT UP!

Kalocake swung his foot into Bobyou_bob's ribs. He gasped, all of his breath rushing out of his mouth.

Smiling, as if pleased by the reaction, Kalocake grabbed Bobyou_bob's dagger, which was called 'Horseapple', and swung it into the *****noob's chest.

****END OF CHAPTER 10****

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Chapter 11: Back to Safety

Kalocake wiped the blood off of his dagger in the grass. The red liquid stained the green leaves hanging on the ground.

Before long, he was talking to himself.

Kalocake: Killing isn't wrong. It gets rid of noobs. I need to kill noobs. I have to kill noobs!

Ice Streak was walking up to him, ready to tell him a new idea he had for capturing the noobs.

Ice Streak: Um, sir? I think I may have somethin-

Kalocake swung around in a wild fury, his face red with hatred. He raised his right hand into a fist, and brought it down in Ice Streak's stomach.

Kalocake: Leave me be when I'm alone!

Ice Streak let out a gasp of pain before limping away.

Kalocake: Stupid...stupid traitors...LEAVE ME ALONE!

Making sure Ice Streak was gone; he walked over to the lake and began to talk to his reflection.

Kalocake: Make sure they are all gone; make them leave me alone!

His eyes had turned a bloodshot red. He had a crazed look on his hardened face. Kalocake had turned into a mad man.

He shook his head. What was he doing? He wasn't crazy. He was a high level. Quietly, he strode over to his seeing orb, located in his throne room.

---

Daisy: We have to move! We don't have much time!

They were rushing the near-dead body of Bobyou_bob into the Saradomin base. Little did they know, Kalocake was watching them from his throne room the entire time, smiling as everything went according to plan.

Kalocake: Send them my regards, Jaggedsblade.

Kalocake had returned to normal. His therapist had told him to keep off the noob slaying for a while. He had killed his therapist.

He had allowed the noobs to rescue the captives. It was all part of the plan he had made. What a beautiful plan. Simply let them have their team back, and then kill them all! Kalocake let out a maniacal laugh.

Kalocake: Buahaha. BUAHAHA. BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough* Oh. 'Scuse me. Just...go kill them. But leave Insanejava for me.

---

Daisy: Holy cheese and crackers, that was too easy.

They were sitting in the Saradomin base. The rescue had been surprisingly simple. They had gone in, grabbed Im_famous and Bobyou_bob, and ran back. Not a single high level had stopped them.

Legolas: I think.... no, no, that's silly.
Insane: What?
Legolas: What if...what if it was a trap?

Everyone became silent as they considered this new possibility. But during their brief pause, they didn't notice Jagged slip in.

Jagged: Oh look. A tea party. Sorry I have to put a stop to it...

He gave an evil smile and drew a blood red dragon long sword.

Legolas: Damit, I thought the story would have a happily ever after!

***END OF CHAPTER 11***

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Chapter 12: Chaos

Jagged smiled and twirled the sword around.

Jagged: Oh! You hear that, boys? They wanted a happy ending!

Laughter rung from the halls; Insane looked at Legolas, puzzled.

Im_famous: Where is that coming from...

A loud slam made everyone jump. The main doors had fell open, revealing the entire Zamorak army, noobs and all.

Daisy: Oh dam.

The obvious leader of the group, Ice Streak, stepped forwards.

Ice Streak: I'm sorry, but it looks like I'm going to have to kill you.

Demon99993: Not if I have anything to say about it.

Everyone turned around. It was Demon. And he had brought the entire Saradomin army with him.

Ice Streak: Charge!
Demon: You know what to do, boys.

All hell broke loose. Everyone had split up, leaving Insanejava to fend for himself. Panicking slightly, he tried to find the others, when he was stopped by a towering figure wielding a Great Axe.

Kalocake: Shall we dance, noob?

---

Daisy: Are you sure this is the right way!
Legolas: I sure do hope so.

The two were running frantically up the stairs to the flag room. Daisy had pulled out an elegant rune battle-axe, and Legolas had his Maul in his hands.

Legolas: And even if it isn't, we're in for the fight of our lives.

---

Nemo: Run!

The three had run out of the castle by mistake, and were now desperately trying to return to it. They were also being pursued by a horde of angry high levels, which only made them want to run faster.

Im_famous: What do we do?

They had run right against a castle wall. Not a good move in the world of battles.

Nemo: I say...we fight.

Nemo pulled off his Zamorak hood to reveal his true self: a high level Saradomin spy. He was dressed in gleaming rune armor, and in his hand he had a bloodied dragon mace.

This was a new Nemo. This was the Nemo that would help Saradomin win the battle.

---

Kalocake: So, noob, you're the one that was caused me so much trouble.

Insane and Kalocake were circling each other, weapons drawn. Insane had pulled out Noobdrop, while Kalocake had his great axe.

Insane: I guess so.
Kalocake: Do you really think you can kill me with that...butter knife?
Insane: Well, I guess there's only one way to find out.

With a blood-curdling yell, he charged at Kalocake.

---

The block of granite swung repeatedly at the enemies, picking them off one by one.

Daisy: So, this is how it ends.

They were in the flag room, surrounded by torrents of Zamorak followers.

Legolas: This isn't the end, Daisy. Far from it, this is only the beginning. Think about it. We can become legends. If death is our fate, then I am not afraid.

Legolas swung his maul again and again, killing more and more of the enemy. But for every Zamorak player he killed, another one came in his place.

Daisy was hacking like a madman with her battle-axe. The blade came down upon a high level named Forsaken12, slicing him in half. Blood rushed out of the carcass.

Daisy: There's too many! I don't think we can win!
Legolas: We can't win. But we sure as hell can try.

As the swarm of high levels increased, they fought off as many as they could. But the mass army was too strong, and they both knew that.

So ended the lives of Legolas10003 and Daisynails.

---

Dagger and axe met in the air. Sparks flew out of the metal of the dagger, and the axe became scratched.

Sweating, Insanejava backed off. The two looked at each other with loathsome eyes.

Kalocake charged again. A fatal mistake; Insane dodged the blow and kicked the weapon out of Kalocake's hands.

Kalocake: I though you were a noob.
Insane: I may be a noob, but that doesn’t mean I don't win.

Insane pressed Noobdrop against Kalocake's neck. Trembling with anger, he raised it with a scream.

A sickening noise was made, that of metal being pushed into skin.

The dagger hung from Kalocake's neck. He was dead.

---

Nemo: This is it!

He had killed all of the high levels, and was thirsty for more death. His eyes were hazed over.

But as soon as the action had begun, it stopped. Everyone was flung into the space-time continuum. The game was over. Saradomin had won.

***END OF THE CASTLE WARS NOOBS***

.........................
.........................
.........................is that a true story......?

Does it sound real.............?

it's not real rofl...

Uh, Excuse me, but how the HELL did you get my name to be in your story? That's kind of creepy man. Seriously, do you know me from somewhere?