Title: Off to Visit the Family.
KimH - October 25, 2010 09:28 AM (GMT)
Whoopee, Tomorrow I'm going to San Diego to visit Dad. (Some of you will recall the discussion below). I don't know how sick and debilitated he is. Perhaps I should tell him it's all in his mind and that if he takes a hot bath and gets more exercise he'll be fine? (That's what they told me when I was sick as a dog trying to get my AI Dx). Sorry, I couldn't resist.
Ruth - October 25, 2010 02:59 PM (GMT)
Hope the trip goes well. Take care of yourself.
Dianne - October 25, 2010 03:56 PM (GMT)
Hang tough....don't react/get drawn into dumb statements just change the subject, and Do Not Explain yourself!!!! just offer to send some info....hope it goes ok....how long staying for??
KimH - October 25, 2010 05:05 PM (GMT)
Flying there Tuesday, flying home Thursday. I got a hotel room so that I could get away from them. It's too bad I don't drink. I could use it. The stuff he said at Mom's funeral and the stuff he said when I got really excited about a job prospect a few years back (He said that I couldn't handle the job), etc is all coming back to me in floods today and my stomach is tied in a knot. I keep remembering that a friend told me I need to be a big person and go. All day I've been thinking of cancelling and going to visit my nice aunt in Michigan instead.
Dianne - October 25, 2010 05:15 PM (GMT)
not on bad....just one full day... great idea on the hotel. kim you really have to find a way to release some of that angst....maybe really try writing out what you would Like to say even though you really wont..at the hotel before or after you visit. and don't be afraid to be very upfront and assertive with everyone.....what's the worst that can happen????
KimH - October 25, 2010 05:45 PM (GMT)
Probably nothing will happen. At worst, he'll do what he tends to do--tell me all the ways that I'm screwed up or incompetent, that I can't compare to how wonderful my brother is, etc. He's really, really nasty and it cuts my heart out. And I have to sit there and take it all with a smile on my face.
NJO - October 25, 2010 11:33 PM (GMT)
(grh) Have a safe trip...and do try to not get too worked up about anything that is said to you. Good idea about the hotel room...just be strong for your sake.
KimH - October 26, 2010 12:06 AM (GMT)
Thanks Jo. I've got to get a grip. I almost had a couple of anxiety attacks tonight, and I haven't had one of those since before I got started on HC ten years ago. I'll try and concentrate on the fact that I'm trying to pack and none of my clothes fit except my stall mucking clothes. :D
Kimberly - October 26, 2010 03:31 PM (GMT)
Good luck, Kim. Take care.
KimH - October 27, 2010 12:32 AM (GMT)
Thanks all. I got a one day reprieve. My flight got cancelled because of the mess in Chicago and the airline couldn't get me out of Lexington until tomorrow. Got tired of trying on clothes that I could no longer get in, so I just started throwing things in a couple of suitcases and hope I find something that fits when I get to the other end.
NJO - October 27, 2010 01:42 PM (GMT)
I thought of you yesterday with all the terrible weather...felt you would have trouble traveling.
Dianne - October 27, 2010 02:56 PM (GMT)
Kim..with your one day reprieve....GO SHOPPING! Get one pr pant and 2 shirts you really like...if you feel good in your clothes you will feel more confident!!! Doesnt have to be costly...walmart has some really nice shirts rt now and I usually get my rider jeans there for about 15-19 bucks.....and ...get pretty underwear....does wonders for a girls self-image and BTW..you do not have to sit there thru the comments as you said.....you have choices there...just excuse yourself...say well you seem to be upset right now and this isn't something I'll listen to...be back in an hr.....or whatever...just don't take it but don't argue either....just let them know by your actions that their comments are unacceptable..or heck...just say those comments are unacceptable. Be back in a hr...!!!
Don't mean to be so bossy here..!! I just get upset at the things they say...and want yo to feel good going there and coming home again!!!!
Hope weather cooperates...and...GO SHOPPING!!!
NJO - October 27, 2010 02:59 PM (GMT)
Good idea, go shopping! New clothes make you feel better and more self assured. Go girl! Get shopping!
KimH - October 27, 2010 05:40 PM (GMT)
I'll try to keep your wise advice in mind if they should say something, and not get carried away in the moment. I imagine they won't say anything because I doubt they want a fight either---but you never know. It's never stopped them before.
I'm at the Lexington airport right now waiting and waiting.....
I went shopping at WalMart and some other discount stores, but didn't find anything. Wish I had found something so that I wouldn't have just thrown 2 suitcases of junk together. I just found out that the airline charges for each bag you check. This is new since I last flew anywhere.
Well, time to go get searched by security and get to the gate.
KimH - October 28, 2010 11:54 PM (GMT)
Well, Dad had to take a nap, so I'm back at my hotel for a bit. I steered the conversation away from my health, when he brought it up, until the last time. He asked me if my health issues were all cured. I simply told him that I have to keep taking medication for the rest of my life or I'll drop dead. (I included the "dead" part to let him know that this isn't an inconsequential disease.) I told him that the hormone imbalances have made it so that my bones break a lot, but that I've had an easier time with my AI than a lot of other people have it. He equated it with what I think were his blood pressure and cholesterol meds he had to take everyday and I said "yeah". Then I changed the subject. We'll see what happens when I go back there for dinner tonight.
NJO - October 29, 2010 02:10 AM (GMT)
(grh) I think a lot of us can equate to your experience of trying to stress the seriousness of this disease...hope dinner goes well.
KimH - October 29, 2010 06:21 AM (GMT)
Dinner went fine. He asked a little more about it. I told him that it's essential to take the HC. I told him about how my bp had gotten so low that I always stood up bent over to keep from blacking out pre-dx. Perhaps now he's realized that it's a real disease and not some imaginary thing that I have. He told me to keep taking my HC. Usually the family responded by telling me that I just needed a hot bath or anti-depressants to cure me of AI.
NJO - October 29, 2010 01:55 PM (GMT)
That's good, Kim. Maybe your father is trying to make an effort, too. :)
Dianne - October 30, 2010 03:10 PM (GMT)
Yes it does. and sounds like you are doing really well answering things and not staying on topic too long......hope it continues to go ok......