Title: Rules in Central
Allah - June 5, 2006 08:53 PM (GMT)
|1. "Do I have anything of substance to say?"|
This is absolutely the most important question. If you only have enough room in your brain to ask one, make this one it. If your reply is only one sentance long and says something along the lines of "I agree!" or "Ha ha! That's funny!" or "I like that!" it may not be necessary for you to make it. I know this is hard to believe. Clearly that post count determines how big your penis size is, or how uh, tight and sweet smelling your vagina is. But there are more important things than big penises and tight vaginas. And we have less time to get these important things done when we're stuck clicking through page after page of your brief, pointless, wasteful replies. Take care to see that your replies have something of value to read in them, or at least something funny. Please, post responsibly.
2. "Is my reply relevant to the topic at hand?"
Uh oh! You don't know anything about what the people in the thread are talking about! But somebody just made a vague pop-culture reference that you can cling on to and instead of going ahead and starting a new topic about this thing you want to talk about you can make a reply about it and derail the conversation and FRUSTRATE EVERY PERSON WHO WAS ACTUALLY ENJOYING WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT GOD DAMN IT FUCK FUUUCK!! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU SO SO MUCH! *ahem* Please, do not de-rail topics.
3. "Do I have any shame at all?"
A girl posted! A hot girl! OMG! Show me your boobs! Tell me sexy stories! I must post a compliment about you after every single fucking post you make no matter what! My friends, even though this is the INTARNET!!!1 we should strive, in our own little ways, to add as much dignity as we possibly can to it. Because if we don't, the first time aliens jack into our wires to see what our society is like they're going to scour all life off the face of the planet with their death rays for the good of the universe. Feel free to treat our female members with respect and chivalry, and comment on things you find attractive sparingly and when appropriate only. I've seen less fawning during deer mating season. Please, do not post like pussies.
4. "Is Erik's name spelled with a C or a K?"
It's a minor cosmetic issue but that's how I sign my name, that's how I want my name to appear when people give me credit for things, it's on my drivers license like that, it's on my birth certificate, to a small extent it indicates my ethnic heritage. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IT'S AT THE TOP OF EVERY SINGLE FUCKING COMIC I POST ON THE FUCKING SITE! FUCK! IT'S RIGHT THERE. Please, spell my name with a goddamned K. The character is the one with the C.
-Don't double post, there is an edit button, use it, this goes for bumping as well.
-Necromancy: Necromancy is bad, it's when you grab a post that is more then two weeks old and not on the front page, and post in it, that thread is dead, and should probably stay dead. Unless of course you have something amazingly important to add.
-Necrophilia: Should you happen to expire in an untimely manner, your body becomes the property of AneurysM.
-lolololol where is teh comic is not a good idea for a thread, if you want to ask a question like the email Erik, we are not his keepers, we don't know what he's doing at all times.
-Site pimping, now this one is a bit blurry, but basically if you make an account and one of your first posts is just a 'lol this site is cool' threads I will lock it, MAKE IT HAVE A POINT!
-If you want to spam, do it in moderation and try to stay somewhat ion topic, please?
So anyway it's getting towards summer, that means influx season, that joyful time when middle schoolers get out of jail for the summer and spam the internet, in preparing for this I have added some new rules, and figure that here would be a good place for discussion as to how we can make them better for all!
Perhaps I should make an FAQ as well?
WildCard4005 - July 29, 2006 05:53 PM (GMT)
I posted this in other places, but I think I should put it here.
I suggested that if you're a new poster, chances are you will do something that pisses off the older members/mods. So, in order to soften the blow of being a dumb ass first poster, you put a pic of boobs in your first post (or a link to them). Reasons?
1. Who doesn't like boobs? All guys do (yes, even gay ones), and so do women.
2. Even if your first post is covered under what Allah told you not to do, if it has boobs, you will be treated better. "Way to post about when is there gonna be a new comic, but I like her rack. Welcome."
3. The third and final reason is possibly the best. There can never be enough boobs.
Now, this doesn't mean if you're a guy you're disqualified, or if you're a girl you have to post your own boobs. Just Fucking Google It.
AnarkiJ - August 1, 2006 07:54 AM (GMT)
Should we just add,
- Bribing forum members to like you is not frowned upon. Seriously, Give me money.
- No matter how good you think you are, we are always better. Wet that tongue I have some boots you can lick.
-We are not here for your entertainment, you are here for ours. Commence violent poking with red hot iron pokers.
-When in doubt break out the boobs, be they your own or someone elses, boobs will save your life.
-If you have dyslexia/too lazy to type properly/stupid/very stupid/morbidly stupid/broken keyboard. You will leave here in tears.
-Make sure your first post is not a new topic, contribute to what we have before plugging your site, otherwise you get ban hammered.
Thats all I can think of for now.
Nestor - June 20, 2007 09:17 PM (GMT)
If ANYONE posts or links to goatse, tubgirl, or anything equally disgusting, someone will immediately and permanently ban you forever. Probably Dream, because he's pretty cool. I don't care, that's one thing i draw the line on. I don't need to see that shit and neither do you.
Saydrah - August 24, 2007 05:33 AM (GMT)
Re: Picture threads.
Jade has asked for a rule clarification on picture sharing. Here it is- other mods, feel free to change/edit/comment if you feel this is inappropriate, but I think this is a fairly common sense policy to implement and few should have any objections.
1. Don't take personal pictures from this forum and post them elsewhere without the express permission of the person who posted that picture.
2. Don't use any personal pictures from this forum for commercial purposes- not that I think anyone here is business-minded enough to find a commercial use for a bunch of blurry pictures of teenagers ranging from ugly to hella sexy, but just in case, don't do it. This forum doesn't need to be evidence in a copyright lawsuit.
3. Don't try to sneak around the above two rules by having someone else who isn't a member post that pic to /b/ for you.
4. Don't bring interpersonal drama with other members from off the forum onto the forum. If someone else instigated drama off the forum, but you're the one who causes it to make problems on the forum, you will be considered responsible for any fiasco that follows.
5. Dishonesty about picture sharing with other members off-forum is frowned upon, but if it starts off the forum and stays off the forum, don't ask us to handle it here- what happens out of Vegas, stays out of Vegas.
In addition, a few for members posting in picture threads:
1. Don't post anything on the picture threads that is illegal. Duh. Underage tits apply- sorry, forum males.
2. Don't post anything on the picture threads that would irreparably harm your reputation, business, livelihood, future political campaigns, health, or sanity if it suddenly were posted all over the internet. Use some common sense- it's a public forum and anyone can register.
3. Don't post anything on the picture threads that shows your address, phone number, full real name, school name, or other clear identifying information that would enable someone to locate you, unless you are fully prepared to deal with the consequences- which could conceivably include /b/ invasions of your personal life. We won't be banning or suspending anyone for posting pictures that show identifying information, but I frown highly upon this, particularly if you are underage and/or female.
Dreamwalker - September 27, 2007 06:18 AM (GMT)
This is a new rule. I felt that it was sort of implied, but recent events have forced me to spell it out:
No member (including moderators I might add) may start a negative topic targeting one member or one specific group of members on the forum. This is effective starting now.
EDIT: Additionally I'm stating Erik's "no dead animal" rule: No dead animals. Hunting images or video may be linked AND TAGGED APPROPRIATELY, but no general animal mutilation please. This includes animal cruelty etc etc.