Currently I'm in the process of buying a house with my partner, we're both 21.
His parents believe we're rushing into settling down together but argue that we should be getting married.

I am happy to make monetary based agreements and share our income. I am not ready to make the 'till death do us part' vows. Houses can be split, lives cannot. I don't like the idea of being a Mrs at 21. Right now we don't need the same last name, we don't go to dinner parties with other married couples or go sailing on the weekends.

I think he's still getting past my vehement explosion that I won't change my last name. We both have very very similar first names. I don't want to carry the joke further and professionally, I like that my name is alliterated.

I don't honestly believe that I NEED to be married. We're a professional couple who don't need the law to keep us together, our relationship is doing that. I don't understand his parents obsession with marriage.
Especially since it'll cost us at least 40k to do it 'their way' and that's a down payment on a fucking house.

[/Hansonrant]I don't like it. I just don't like it. [/Hansonrant]

It's almost a non-issue any more to me. Besides the fact that I really haven't met anyone that I'm interested in being married to, it seems like a formality now, like the school ball/prom/whatever.

It'd be nice, it would entertain the parents for a little while, but I really can't be bothered with it.

My sister has 3 kids and has been with the same guy for...ever (Not married).

And you know what? It has been working for them.

Marriage is for homos.

Really. I'm very pro gay-marriage. And that's the only marriage I support. Us straight folk need to stop getting hitched and adding stupid kids to the world. There are plenty of chinese kids needing to be adopted.

I like the idea of a wedding, but I'm not really into the whole marriage thing... so I could see myself doing some sort of symbolic ceremony like a wedding...I think that'd be kinda nice...

We had a thread kinda like this before, and what I said then is the same now; I like the idea of having a wedding (big dress, big cake, big pile of presents etc.) but I don't want to be a wife. Unless I meet a dying rich guy.

I'm gonna get married shitloads of times!

you're a true American, Josken :lol:

My cadets actually have a pool on how many times I'll get married.

The most money is on three.

At once! :boobs:

I don't feel like I'll ever NEED to get married, but I want to get married. For some reason it just means something to me. But if/when I do get married, I want to have been with the person for a long-ass time before doing so. I don't care if kids come first, or anything else. I just do want to get married, someday.

But don't you munch rug?

ANd Lori, take the guys name. That'd be a deal breaker for me.

Yeah, marriage isn't important anymore. Remember, 'till death do us part' was written when most people bit it at 40. The times are moving past the concept of marriage(50% divorce rate) and people haven't figured it out yet.

Lori:Ignore Wild. The taking his name thing was to show you were his property way back when.

Of course, he could always take yours...

Um, I kind of like the idea of marriage I guess? I dunno. never thought about it too much, too busy doing manly things like punching stuff.

Yus, which is why I can't be bothered. It would only be a formality anyway, as it isn't recognized as a marriage by Aussie federal law.

Us filthy dykes aren't allowed to marry ^_^

That's why I love Canada. My friends are getting married in 2012 and they're legally allowed to do so :) They're having a handfasting ceremony this coming February, also.

There is no problem with committing to someone for a given period of time, but I think marriage licenses should be for 5 years. After that, you're free to go.

I asked him if he wanted to take my last name, but he's pretty sure he'll be disowned.

I'm sure for some people it'd be a dealbreaker, but it's not really that important anymore. I mean, if people know us.. they know we're married. I don't 'really' need the same last name.

His first name, is an abbreviation of my first name. C'mon. Having the same last name would be unbearable.

Don't you ever get tired of being a stereotype?

When I met him in Sydney, I'd say no. He loves being loud, sexist, egotistical and American.

We've gotta have at least one, right?

The last name thing is kinda retarded. "CARRY ON THE FAMILY NAME!" "Uh, there are at LEAST 5000 other people carrying this last name. Don't be dense."

Marriage is a joke nowadays, as proven by the 50%+ divorce rate in many places.

All the same, I look forward to marriage, or at least a long, solid relationship and a family.

Also, the last name seems like a really petty reason to base one's decision to marry on... sure, I'd like to make sure my kids are my legacy, but I don't need to do that with my last name, I'll do that through their upbringing :huh:

Or, y'know, through the fact that YOU MADE THEM.

Blood means nothing if you have no hand in the actual raising of their kids; a step-father can be just as good as a father.

Upbringing means nothing. In less than 3 generations, your ways will have been paved over with new ways. If you have no sons, your daughters will likely take another family name. You may have sons, but they may never have children, or die before they do. The simple fact that they are carrying on your genes is the only real legacy and "immortality", and even that's only if they do their job by fucking and making babies of their own every generation.

Also, your kids may have kids, but give them up for adoption or abandon them for whatever reason. Then the upbringing wouldn't be yours either.

I understand it because his parents are immigrants. Their family name is unusual. They're very proud of it.

I just... really love... my name. I've had it my whole life, I'm attached to it. It's a good name.

Then tell them that. They're gonna go and get butthurt about THEIR name, but they're gonna tell you to get over yours. Just tell them to stop being hypocrites.

It's just such an old fashioned thing, you know. His family... well.
I like them, but the mother is still a homemaker and her youngest is about to finish school. I could never do that and I've told my partner that.

Not working would drive me absolutely insane. It's so hard to critiscise his family, but despite their shiny surface of perfection, I think their obsession with the old ways is why they're always broke.

Why is it so hard for people to move the fuck on? Does anyone else have painfully old fashioned inlaws?

Think about how stupid Dune would have seemed if Paul Atreides great great great great great grandfather had let his wife change the family name.
Agamemnon would be displeased.

With that said, I agree with what Chaos said.

and Josken, congrats to the lucky women.

I went to a wedding yesterday. It was cute, I sniffled a little, but I still don't want the headache of planning and paying for one.

Taking the last name is a sign of respect and an admission you're going to be together forever. Without it you're just telling the guy you're not going to be around for a while.

Will you ever hop off my jock?

And I know he'll respect me to keep my last name. Because he knows what it means to me and we both agree that our families are equally important.

He knows I'm going to be around because I told him that and our names are side by side on the title of our (hopefully) new home.

If you weren't such an idiot, I would applaud your trolling wholeheartedly.

"Sign of respect"? Do you habitually drag your women by their hairs into your lair as well?

He's not trolling, he means it.

Not since they invented car trunks!

This comment I'm quoting, right here? Yeah. This is bullshit. Sign of respect my ass, you ass. What the fuck are you giving to her as an equal trade off, if you were to have any respect for your wife at all?

My dad and his wife synchronized their names recently to match the combo they'd given their kids. If name-changing is to take place, like that idea much better. It's pragmatic and reciprocal at the same time.

Just say no to marriage, and yes to more money for travel and toys.

5 reasons being single sucks even more than you thought

Or: Marriage has more benefits than you'd think.